Birthday Cluedo

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Sorry I haven’t posted in a while! I hope this makes up for the gap. I wrote this piece of flash fiction as a friend’s birthday present. It’s actually the first piece of flash fiction–as opposed to drabbles, which are the fan fiction equivalent–I have written in years, that I am entirely happy with.

Personally I prefer the word ‘drabble’, but anyway … on with the piece.


The detective steepled his fingers, doing his Holmes impression whilst the suspects all filed into the room.

Colonel Mustard came first; stiff military stature, an air of cold indifference. Mrs Peacock followed shortly behind, fanning herself to try and disguise her shaking hands. Reverend Green was the first to appear calm; confident in his own innocence. Miss Scarlet slunk in alongside Mrs White, despite the intense dislike shared between them; and bringing up the rear was Professor Plum, nervously mopping his brow.

All with motive, all with opportunity. Yet, the detective had explored every option, and as they lined up nervously, waiting for him to pronounce which of them were for the noose, his eyes flickered to the guilty party, and he smiled.

“So?” The Reverend spoke first. “Which of us did it?”

“I expect you did,” said Miss Scarlet. “I saw you going into the library with the candlestick!”

“No! I thought it was Mustard with the pipe—”

“How dare you!” the Colonel blustered. “It was obviously Mrs White—”

They began squabbling amongst themselves.

“You’re all wrong,” the detective said loudly. They fell silent, miraculously.

“Well then, who was it?” the Professor asked after a moment’s pause.

The detective pointed, and they all craned their necks to see who he was indicating.

“It was,” the detective said amongst murmurs of disbelief, “the cat.”

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