The Starbucks Name Game

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I’m just enjoying my first Starbucks coffee in a few weeks. I came all prepared to say ‘Susan’. But I wasn’t asked my name, so I felt a little disappointed.

I should explain. Neither my pen nor legal names are Susan. A while ago a friend and I dared each other. Starbucks ask your name when you order a hot drink; the plan was to use a different fake name every time we visited Starbucks. This turned into a list of character names to work our way through. My list is Doctor Who companions. But I guess random ones work too.

Of course if you do this in your local, sooner or later you’ll start to get funny looks. Especially if you do what my friend suggested but I don’t feel brave enough to, which is to use names belonging to the opposite gender. I have a mental image of her telling the barista that her name is Ian. But the confusion is, theoretically, half the fun.

I wouldn’t know, haven’t had the opportunity yet–it doesn’t work well with the resolution to spend less on coffee. My excuse at the moment is that the internet is down in my flat.

I have a tip if you want to try this at home (or rather in Starbucks): if you’re planning on doing it with a friend, you have to keep your face dead straight. Especially if they don’t know what you’re planning.

Remembering which name you’ve given them when your coffee is ready is also wise.

Variant: Find an unheard-of five-syllable name, use it every time, and count how many spelling variants you get.

Maybe I should turn this into a series, of ways to amuse yourself in coffee shops. I certainly have lots of experience to draw from. Hmm …


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